Breaking up is hard on health

Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger kiss during the now-infamous 'Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire?' (Carin Bear, AP/Fox)

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. Ted Turner and Jane Fonda. Howard Stern and wife Alison. Elizabeth Hurley and Hugh Grant. Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria. Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid.

Celebrities are ending their relationships faster than Jackie Collins can write a new novel. In fact, finding a star that hasn't either separated or divorced is almost as difficult as explaining why Robert DeNiro made Rocky and Bullwinkle.

But when it comes to breaking up, it may not be just the lawyers and the tabloids that have a field day. Splitting can also bring your physician or therapist into the picture.

"Ending a close, dependent relationship like a marriage can have very serious consequences, not just psychologically but physically as well," says Rosalinda O'Neill, psychotherapist and licensed marriage/family counselor. "Physical consequences can include hypertension, insomnia, increased anxiety, and weight gain or loss."

Take Fox TV's on-air matrimonial mismatch couple Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger for example.

"The only good thing that's come out of this is I've lost 10 pounds," said Conger, whose trimmed torso was displayed in last month's Playboy. "I call it the 'stress diet,' but I sure wouldn't recommend it to anyone."

"I hardly ate for the first few weeks," chimes in Rockwell. "I was married only 36 hours, but I feel like I aged 10 years."

Rockwell has incorporated the Who Wants To Marry A Multimillionaire? debacle into his revived standup comedy routine, but initially he wasn't laughing. "I didn't feel like myself and had almost no energy," he recalls. "I used to sleep at least seven hours, but now I'm lucky to get five. I'm not the free spirit I used to be."

Divorce and depression

While Rockwell contends that he "wasn't depressed, just very disappointed," for many people divorce can lead to depression.

Data from 10,000 Americans who participated in a 1999 University of Iowa study indicated that people who believe marriage should be permanent were more likely to become depressed during a divorce.

"Being depressed is a normal reaction to many life stresses like divorce. It becomes an illness called depression when it interferes with a person's social and occupational world," reports Dr. Joseph A. Schneider, a board-certified psychiatrist in private practice in Tarzana, Calif. "I think it's very safe to say that this clinical depression probably afflicts 10% of people involved in a divorce."

When you consider that current statistics predict that 43% of all marriages in the USA will end in divorce ? not counting non-marital breakups, which can be just as disturbing ? depression due to relationship dysfunction shapes up as one of our nation's most troubling health challenges.

Distress and disease

The Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS) lists divorce as the most stressful life event next to the death of a spouse or child. Counterproductive response to such stress can lead to inappropriate coping mechanisms such as abuse of alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and food (overeating or anorexic behaviors).

"We also see a lot of people with disruptions in their sleep patterns," adds Dr. Thomas Trott, former clinical chief of psychiatry, Cedars Sinai Medical Center. "This is typically due to the elevated stress, but sometimes because people erroneously think drinking alcohol will help them sleep. It doesn't. Alcohol disrupts the sleep cycle."

Review of numerous studies conducted since 1975 reveals that divorce is associated with other increased health risks including:

Higher rates of fatal heart attacks than married people
More complaints of ulcer and gastrointestinal disorders
50% increase in cancer of the digestive organs
Higher rates of headaches, including tension and migraines
Higher premature death rates (twice as high for white males)
Twice the death rate from stroke in divorced versus married men

A study earlier this year revealed that divorced men are two-and-a-half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. Men outnumbered their female counterparts four-to-one in self-inflicted deaths.

Healing broken hearts

The key according to many experts is to take stock in your behavior. Is your reaction to this stressful situation different than usual? If an abnormal response persists, Schneider recommends seeking professional help. Effective treatments for depression and other stress-related medical disorders are readily available.

"Don't try to self-medicate. Try to get eight hours of sleep, and don't change the time when you go to bed." Schneider also advises people not eat after 8 or 9 o'clock at night, so they don't try to sleep on a full stomach.

Experts also agree that exercise plays an important role in maintaining health during a stressful divorce. The stress-reducing benefits of regular, moderate exercise are well documented and include improved immune function, self esteem, and sense of well-being.

Support from friends and family is also critical. "Social isolation should be avoided, even if it means going for a walk at the mall," advises Schneider. Spending time with those who can restore a sense of normalcy and comfort will help rebuild your confidence that pain will eventually subside. "The key here is to remember that the divorce is only an event. It is not your life."

For more resources to assist you in dealing with divorce, go to www.FamilyLawSoftware.com