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Basic Premises of Therapy
Here are some of the basic premises of therapy:
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Each relationship is unique. That is, you can't read a profile
in a book (or a program such as this) and completely understand
yourself and your situation.
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No one is at "fault." The problems in a relationship often are not "his" fault or
"her" fault, but rather a result of the interaction between the two
people, their families, involving their values, beliefs, and so on.
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Family history matters. In a relationship, people are driven by strong motives and
beliefs that they got from their own upbringing.
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The problems are not obvious. Fights over sex, money, or child rearing are often substitutes
for the actual conflict, which is about ways of being and conducting
oneself in a relationship.
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People's driving motives are not obvious. People can't always describe the forces that drive them, even to
themselves, let alone to their spouses. But sometimes a trained
observer, who has seen these situations often, can recognize them.
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People can change. Recognizing the forces that apply can lead to accepting or
changing them. But this often takes a great effort and a long time.
If you can't accept these premises, then you probably won't get much
out of therapy.
On the other hand, if these premises make sense to you, then you
might find therapy to be helpful.
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Disclaimer: We are not giving legal advice. No warranties. We disclaim all legal liability. More...
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