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Lonely
Both parties feel lonely, but men, especially, feel the loneliness.
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No kids. Men usually go to smaller, poorly-furnished
apartments. They miss the routine and they miss the children. They
lose their friendships, because those were managed by the wife.
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Awkward visits. When the kids come to visit, the man often does
not know quite what to do with them. Older kids have to miss being
with their friends to see their father, and this resentment is
layered in with whatever feelings the children may be having toward
their father.
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Loneliness leads to bitterness. Typical reactions are to
suppress the emotions, and channel the loneliness into bitterness and
anger. You should try not to let this happen.
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Loneliness leads to remarriage. Another typical reaction is to
find another woman quickly. Many men remarry within one year of the
divorce. Statistically speaking, this is usually too soon for them,
and for their children.
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Take your time. Therapists suggest that you admit the
loneliness, and take time to adjust. Listen and learn from the
kids and from your separated spouse about what they want and need
now.
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Friends fly. One thing that happens to both men and women is
that old friends abandon them. Some people whose marriages are shaky
will avoid them, out of fear that divorce is "contagious." Some
people will remain friends with only one spouse. As a result, it is
good if you are prepared to "start over" to a large extent. This
means that you will be lonely for awhile. You may be able to reduce
the overall pain if you give your friends permission to be friends
with your ex-spouse as well.
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Disclaimer: We are not giving legal advice. No warranties. We disclaim all legal liability. More...
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