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The Parents Book About Divorce, by Richard Gardner
Doubleday, 1977, 368 pages.
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The buzz:
Although some of his observations may be a bit dated
20 years later (for example, about the extent of the children's sense
of shame), what's amazing is how much the author's observations are
in line
with current thought on the subject. Although occasionally he uses
some psychotherapy jargon, most of this book is a sound,
well-organized, clear advice-filled book on how children handle
divorce and how parents can help them handle it.
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The author:
The author was at the time the book was published an
associate clinical professor of child psychiatry at Columbia
University, College of Physicians and Surgeons, and a faculty member
of the William A. White Psychoanalytic Institute, practicing in
Cresskill, New Jersey.
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Topics covered:
- Lawyers.
- Therapists.
- Telling the Children.
- Friends and Neighbors.
- The child's feelings and common reactions.
- Parental difficulties.
- Grandparents, step-parents, step-siblings and others.
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Difficulty:
moderate.
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Sidenotes:
This book has a more detailed discussion of
extreme reactions in children -- homosexuality, obsession,
violent acting out, etc. -- than is found in the other texts. Also,
reflecting the psychoanalytic background of the author, features a
lot of discussion of the sexual activities of both the parent and child.
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Key insight:
There are some common feelings and behaviors in
divorce that are, for all their predictability, deeply rooted and
difficult to handle.
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Read if:
You are reading several books about psychological
reactions to divorce and you want a psychoanalytic perspective.
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