|
The Good Marriage, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee
Houghton Mifflin Co., 1995, 352 pages.
-
The buzz:
The author studied 50 "happy marriages" in 1990-1991. She
found the couples by asking around. They all lived in Northern
California, had one or more children, had been married at least nine
years, and considered their marriage "happy." They were all white
except for one Asian, all middle-class, and
all well-educated. She identifies common patterns in these happy
marriages, and she identifies a list of qualities and approaches to
life that enable marriages to work. Not a superficial "how to"
book, it requires reading and then reflection to absorb its lessons.
-
The authors:
Judith Wallerstein was at the time of
publication a clinical psychologist, founder and executive director
of the Center for the Family in Transition, and a senior lecturer at
the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at
Berkeley. She had been happily married for 48 years and looking
forward to more. Sandra Blakeslee was a science writer for the New
York Times.
-
Topics covered:
- Four types of happy marriage, which she calls "Romance Marriage,"
"Rescue Marriage," "Companionate Marriage" and "Traditional
Marriage."
- Separating from one's parents.
- Managing to be a couple, yet remain separate people.
- Dealing with the stresses, anxieties, and demands of parenthood.
- Coping with crises such as unemployment or death of loved ones.
- Exploring sexual love and intimacy.
- Sharing laughter and keeping interests alive.
- Preserving past images while recognizing present realities.
-
Difficulty:
Medium
-
Sidenotes:
The author turned to this book as an antidote to the
unhappiness she sees in her regular work with divorcing couples.
-
Key insight:
Good marriages are made from openness, commitment,
sensitivity, trust, emotional strength in both parties, and a lot of
conscious hard work.
-
Read if:
You want a look at how happy couples manage it.
Email this page on to a friend.
Disclaimer: We are not giving legal advice. No warranties. We disclaim all legal liability. More...
| 
