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We Are Afraid of Appearing Vulnerable
Another reason we do not communicate honestly is that we are afraid of appearing
vulnerable.
For example: Vince is really hurt by Doris's remark about the attention he pays to his car, because
deep down Vince agrees that he's slightly foolish to spend all that time on it. But instead of
admitting that, he launches into a counter-attack about how Doris gossips with her friends.
If Vince had been able to admit that he was hurt, he could have let her know that. Doris probably
would have grown to understand his sensitivities, and that would have been the end of it.
But by counter-attacking, Vince hurt her back (where she did not intend to be hurtful),
and a vicious cycle has begun.
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